Baby Shower


Shower Invitation 2014

Christmas Baby Shower                                                                                            Rev. Karen Fitz La Barge

So, I have been invited to a Baby Shower! How nice. What a wonderful thing!  –It is a celebration of a brand new life. So what is the first thing that I should do? –Obviously, go shopping. Oh, look, here is the Costco ad that came in the mail. I had better open that for the coupons. You know, this could be the year to go out and to buy myself a new huge big screen TV.  I have really been wanting one, and the new curved screen ones are oh so sweet. Here is the 55″ Samsung at Costco, and according to the ad, it is only $1,279.99 –after $500 OFF and it has free shipping as well.  Or, I could splurge a bit and really get the one I want and go with the 65″ Samsung. That has $800 off and it is $2779.99.  Kathy said that they were really flying off the shelves since Black Friday, even though they are limited to three per person.  I would need to call around to make sure that they were still in stock if I decided to get one. Hmmm…

But what about all of the stuff that my family wants?  All that my daughter wants is a car. I don’t want to get her a brand new one, because she will probably smash it with the crazy way that she drives, but my cousin Bob is selling his red 2001 Pontiac Aztek for $1000, and it would really be a big surprise for her to find it sitting out in our driveway with a big green bow on the top. That way she could get to school on time without breaking down. And I remember that Bob said he just put new tires on it last year so she wouldn’t need to worry about new tires soon with the snow flying and driving on ice and everything.

But if I spent $1000 on my daughter, I had better spend about that much on my son.  He sent me a link to that scuba gear he wanted. Where was it?  Oh yes, here it is, the link was buried in my inbox.  I really had better read all of those unopened emails.  –There it is, the Oceanic Flex 2 SCUBA package from Diver’s Direct. The whole package is on sale for $1099.00.  I am not sure if it is a good deal, but it seems to come with everything. A special wet suit, a breathing regulator, a computer of some sort with a decompression algorithm. I’m not sure what everything does, but the safety reviews are really good on it.  I should probably charge that on the Visa to get the reward points.

But what now to get the spouse?  I’ve seen how they watch those digital camera commercials on TV. — Where is the Costco ad again?   Yup. Costco has the Canon EOS Rebel T5i DSLR bundled with two lenses.  Normally $1149, but only $849 on sale.  That should be a good way to document everything going on. Something to make memories that last because those kids are just getting bigger every year and soon they will be moving out and going away to college. I had better plan on getting that camera package too. I can put that on the American Express.

And then we had better plan a big get together with the whole family, and invite all of the relatives over.  A huge meal with all of the trimmings.  Honey ham probably, and cheesy potatoes, should we have a green bean casserole again? Everyone does really love that.  Or maybe we should do something different?  Who was it that was telling me about that port marinated beef tenderloin recipe again?  We could have that butternut squash soup we loved at that October wedding, and Dennis was going to give us some venison that we could make into deer sausage. We could have warm apple pie with ice cream, or pecan pie using Great Grandma’s recipe. I bet I could talk the kids into making chocolate covered strawberries that we could eat with peppermint hot chocolate and homemade cookies with sprinkles. Oh yea. I can taste that. Yeah. That sounds great. The whole family sitting around together watching movies on our new 65″ curved big screen TV. We could have popcorn. We can sit around playing some board games while the snow flies outside. Good memories and good times together that we can document with that camera. Get some photos of the boy in his new wet suit and the girl behind the wheel of her first car. –That would just be great. Gotta just love all of those moments. I had better start shopping!

Wait. …What was this letter in the mail? Oh, yes, that baby shower invitation. Gotta love babies.  Who had a baby? It’s for “Mary of Nazareth.” Hmmm, I don’t really know her that well. Who was telling me about her?  I can’t remember. –I don’t think she has a job, but I do think that I remember that she is a teenager who isn’t married, but has a baby anyway. She should have gotten a job instead of gotten herself pregnant. No income but has a little mouth to feed. Typical. There always seems to be needy people around that just want a handout. –Anyway, I am way too busy with my own stuff to go to this baby shower. I’m not exactly sure how I got invited anyway. –But I guess that I could just buy a package of Pampers and drop them off at the church this week with her name on them. All babies need diapers. That should be plenty to celebrate the birth of a little baby boy and his unemployed mother. It would be the polite thing to do. –Yea, I can pick some diapers up at Costco when I get the new TV and the camera bundle. I sure hope that they will fit in the minivan. Hmmm…there may not be room for the diapers in the van once I get the big screen TV loaded in.  No room in the van, no room in my schedule, no money left in the bank. That is the story of my life.  Hmmm, I need to be able to fit all of the groceries in the van too.  I had better get the TV in the van first and the groceries home and in the fridge before they go bad.

–I will just worry about this Baby Shower invitation later on when I have the time. –I’ll just forget about the Pampers for now.  They’re not critical.  After all, who is this baby boy to me?  Not like he is anyone important or anything. Not like I am going to invite him and his mother into my house and family.  He’s just a untimely pregnancy turned into an unwanted baby boy.  There will be no love for him from this world.  It’s not like my love will make any difference to him, will it?

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